Category Archives: General

How to win an important negotiation?

Screen Shot 2015-12-23 at 1.51.13 PMAs a girl, I believe it is my birthright to win each and every negotiation. It doesn’t matter if it is logical, or with a service officer or on a personal level, I have to win it. Oh! It doesn’t mean that I have anything against boys, or that boys do not win any negotiations. It’s just that “negotiations” are best handled by us girls. And no, I am not being biased here. Men are equally talented and I, personally, am into them (if you know what I mean).

Now back to the topic again. Negotiations! We all have felt the need to negotiate at almost every turn of life. It may be our salary or the cable bill or a simple car mechanic, we negotiate more often than we realize. What we need to keep in mind are some simple techniques that can make us really good negotiators and help us in maintaining our personal economy as well.

  1. The first and foremost thing to remember is that never, I repeat, never reveal your cards. Always save the ace for the end. If you go directly in front of them and present before them all you have, then all of it loses its importance. The “Ace” is better taken out when nothing else works. Leave them gob smacked with your last card and ultimately win the game.
  2. A bit of pretense would do no harm to anyone. Be lame. Make them feel powerful. They will think that they can easily take over you and would shed down their defenses in front of you. And when you see them lowering their guards, surprise them. It is like, “Hello! I am not that dumb, and I can argue just fine”. This will leave them with no answers and you will win the negotiation easily.
  3. Another thing that could surely help you in all your negotiations is the ability to listen. A negotiation is always two sided. The other person will also have something to say. Listen to them, and let them come out in the open. We must remain quiet, stoic and calm. They will soon use all their cards on us and when they have nothing more left to display, we were put our best offerings in front of them to render them speechless.
  4. Negotiations are not that difficult to handle once you are well prepared. More information means more knowledge on how to tackle different situations or people, which could be used to win the negotiations.
  5. Last but not the least, it is very important to appear as if we have nothing to lose. I mean, have you ever seen a needy man winning? Your confidence and collected attitude will make you stand out. By proving that we have nothing to lose, we appear to be stronger, which helps us in bending the negotiation in our favor.

Let me just say this…I was in a recent sales discussion with a company about building a pool for our place.  We’d go back and forth.  They wanted this, I wanted that.  Finally, I had to be willing to walk away from the entire deal to get what I want.

And you know what, I did.  And because I did, I ended up getting exactly what I wanted.  So here is a shout out to Scottsdale Custom Pools for being great at what they do and for also being great negotiators.

Great service is a must

And I’ll tell you why…

I’m in the service world.  Technically, we all are..but that is for a later time.  When I work, if I give bad service, then I lose business.  When I lose business, I lose money.  When I lose money, I don’t get to do the things I want to do.

Are there enough I’s in there?  Are you following me on this?  Why don’t you replace “I” with “You” and you’ll get my point.  Sure, I’m affected, but I’ve also learned to provide incredible service so that I don’t lose out on what my main focus is.  It used to be that you could do whatever and get away with it.  Or may that’s too extreme.  Customer service didn’t have to be the best.

With so many options, cheaper solutions, or companies that will go above and beyond, if you don’t stand out from the pack, you die.  Loyality does not exist anymore.  That was also because there are so many more choices that just making a decision is overwhelming.

Later, I’ll tell you about an awesome experience I had with

Seriously!  What do you do to stand out?  Do you have someone purchase your good or service and then give them exactly what they asked for?  Do you skimp to make a slightly higher profit margin?  Or are you the type of person that gives them even more then they paid for or thought they were receiving?

If you are of the first two, then I venture to be you won’t be around long.  Or much longer.  Because the next chap is going to exceed your service level and earn their business.  So, hasta.  Don’t fret.  It’s not too late.  You still have time to make a change and turn things around.  Look at all the companies that have done that.  Apple was essentially a failure until they did.  But that’s an entirely different blog.  Because their change wasn’t in the service category.

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Add Value To The Recipe

Today our society lives in a what’s in it for me type world.  Everyone is out to get something.  Let me re-phrase.  Not everyone, but a vast majority of the people I deal with are looking at it with the mindset of, what can i get then I’ll give something.

That was so 2002.  Actually, more the 1980’s and 90’s.  Today, with the ability to go anywhere and be plugged in, you have to stand out amongst the crowd.

How does one do that?  Well, let me begin by saying, BE ORIGINAL.  Don’t do what everyone and their 4th cousin twice removed are doing.  Heck my dog could be more original then you.  And that’s not a joke.  He’s wicked smart!

I’m going to give you some fresh ideas of what you can do to be original.


That’s the secret right there.  We used to be a Glen Gary Glen Ross society.  You know, the ABC’s.

  • Always
  • Be
  • Closing

Well, that era is DEAD!  For real.  The salesy salesman time is gone.  With answers at your fingertips and information on overdrive, if you aren’t giving first, then you are dead in the water.

Seriously.  And here’s how you can tell most don’t get it.  Call some companies and see how they pitch you.  Test the market.  And then when you find the one that gives you value first, let me know if a) your radar goes up because it’s so foreign and b) you’re more inclined to work with them because of it.

Sure, it’s weird. It doesn’t feel natural.  And why would it?  We’ve been doing it and been receiving it the same way for decades.  Change takes time and patience for that Tipping Point.

I adopted this new for quite some time ago and it’s served me well.  But don’t think I’m immune to the blow back.  Just the other day I was on the phone with someone, providing value.  I was literally giving them 1000’s of dollars of information that they could use to help their business, for FREE.  And their response, What’s the catch here.  What do you want from me.  You going to take my business?  Nothing is free. Click!

Well, chalk that up to a closed mind and someone whom I would choose not to do business with in the first place.  That’s what we all have to deal with.  And I’d rather get that out of the way earlier on then start to work together and find out I made a big mistake in saying yes to the deal.

Think to yourself:

  • How can I offer value with what I do?
  • What would make me interested in doing business with me?
  • Do I want every job or the right jobs?

When you begin shifting your focus on these objectives, I promise you that there is going to be a massive change in your business.  It may not happen over night and you will have your growing pains in learning new language and tactics to offer this value.  Oneday, you will go into work and it will be differnt.  You, your business and your outlook on your future.

That being said, take some time and write.  Write about how you can be of service to another.  When you get an answer that rings true to you, take it and implement it.  And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying give away everything you do for free.  HECK NO.  But give enough that you grow a relationship, establish rapport and earn their trust.  Those three things will create a lifetime customer/client, if you perform the service/job to the highest of standards.

“The way a person does one thing is how they do all things.” -unknown


Making Friends

When’s the last time you made a friend that you kept for longer than a year?

As we get older, the less and less we add new people into our lives.  When I was younger, it was party party party.  Get to know you and you get to know me.  Let’s connect.  Let’s grab drinks.  Let’s do business.  All of that.

how to win friends and influence people

Now that I’m settled down, comfortable and enjoying my life as a successful adult, the need or desire has diminished.  Maybe it’s the lack of time that I have to put into a new relationship.  The getting to know you.  The let’s get together.  It takes so much time.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love people.  I love meeting new people.  It’s that I prefer to meet them and then see them here and there.  I don’t really have the time in my life for something that isn’t going to be adding a benefit.

May sound harsh, but it’s real.  Look at your life.  Look at who’s in your life.  They say you are the sum of your five closest friends.  In $$$, job, life, status, etc.  Where are you?  Are you were you want to be?  If not, you might have to make some new friends.  Cut the old ones loose.  Yeah, you know, the one’s holding you back.

Then there’s my step-mom.  She’s maintained friend for her entire life.  But they are all awesome and successful.  And guess what?  So is she!  So it proves my point.

Do you know how much time you can waste on a bad friend.  First there’s the helping them out.  That takes energy.  Just dealing with them.  Then there’s the spending time.  UGH, you dread it.  And what about when the ask where you are and why you haven’t seen them lately.

Let’s just say that having a significant other makes it so much easier.

It’s tough though.  Because you’ve done a lot of work on you and you want them to be better.  They just can’t.  They don’t know how.  And so, at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if you want to stay where you are or get to somewhere different, new and exciting.

The later sounds much better to me.  And that’s why I surround myself with awesome people.  Successful, intelligent, forward thinkers.  I surround myself with people who push me.  That I respect and look up to.  And will I be with them forever?  Who knows.  But where I am now in my life, it’s the perfect match.  And if the day comes that it needs a change.

I’ll make it.

When you go to bed tonight, ask yourself and be honest…Do I serve myself to the best of my ability.  And if you don’t.  Do you want a change?  And are you willing to make that change?

If so, keep coming back here and learn some more.

And now….Presenting my new website!

Woohoo!  You’ve made it to the one place that isn’t like any other…except that it’s like a blog and it’s on the internet…

Okay, so it’s likely more like something you’ve seen before….but, you’ve never seen FFMU Shop before!

That’s a fact.  Because it didn’t exist like this until just this moment.  It’s my new venture.  Without the venture.  I am not selling you anything here.  But I will teach you some skills on how to sell.  Does that sound good?  Nice. Because at the end of the day, we’re all salesmen.  And don’t get upset ladies, I just don’t wannt have to take the time on every post to make sure everyone is taken care of.  I’m equal opportunity here and don’t have any sort of bias.  I’ve learned some of my greatest skills from my wife!

Yup…married and happily off the market.  That’s a side note.

Back to why we are all salesPEOPLE.  Each and every day we interact with people.  On the phone, internet, in person (weird that this one was last now)—and there’s an communication.  Things go on.  People want things.  You need things.  Judgements are made.  Observations. Opinions.  All this goes on.  So, whether you like it or not, you are always and forever will be selling yourself.

Do they want to be buying YOU?  That’s the question to ask.  What I’m saying is that you need to start becoming acutely aware of you and your presence.  Me?  I’m intense.  I have a high energy and I say what’s on my mind.  It can rub most people the wrong way.  That’s because I’m in a group that’s not of the majority.

Now, nobody can ever say I didn’t tell the truth or I wasn’t honest. But because most people don’t want that, then it doesn’t serve me and my needs.  That’s where what I’ve learned and studied come into play.  By taking the time to learn about humans and how they interact with others, I’ve found that I can manipulate myself into what I need to be for them.  

I’m not perfect.  I am fallable.  So, while I’ve mastered these skills, there are times when things go amiss.  Here’s a good thing to consider.  Rather then trying to do it ALL the time.  Why not do it MORE OFTEN THEN NOT?  See, whatever you attempt, if you are successful more often then not, then you’re in an incredible place for growth and change…maybe even transformation.

If you’ve been doing the same thing for years on end and want a new outlook and new result, then you have to find someone who can teach you these new skills.  Because you don’t have them.  And that’s okay to admit.  I didn’t have them either.  Until I seeked out those who did and learned from them.

When you master getting to know people and what they need, and how to give it to them, then you control your destiny.

“The harder I practice, the luckier I get”   -Gary Player